Mary & her Sisters
Does anyone else love family reunions? Oh I know, they can be challenging and sometimes even a bit uncomfortable, but they are a wonderful time to reconnect, refresh and just have some plain old fun. This past weekend my husband, daughter and I attended two family reunions – one with my family and one with my husband’s. And in spite of a broken wrist, a few scraped knees and a sick baby who could not attend, both events were great successes! Many thanks to my sister Barb and my sister-in-law Tina for hosting these wonderful family celebrations.
One of the greatest joys of my family’s event was getting to see all my sisters’ grandchildren, 10 in all, ranging from about 6 months to 10 years of age, some of whom I had never met because they were born in the years after the last big family bash. What a ruckus! It was wonderful and exhausting. But as I sat and watched the chaos, one image in particular caught my attention. It was my little grandnephew Michael who wore shorts and a tee shirt like any normal 4 year old, but his typical picnic outfit was adorned in a very unusual way. He wore a clip-on tie attached to his tee shirt, which he did not remove the entire day. When I asked his mom why he wore the tie, she said, “Oh, he wears it all the time! It’s because his Daddy wears one to work every day.” And the rest of that sentence didn’t even need to be articulated “… and he wants to be just like his Daddy!”
Our children imitate us in more ways than we can even imagine. They may not pay close attention to what we say, but oh boy, do they ever pay attention to what we do! I wonder how many things my own child (now a grown woman) did or even still does because she saw it in me. Good things? Not-so-good things? And perhaps even more importantly, what didn’t she see in me that I could have, or maybe should have, demonstrated for her in my own life?
Michael ~ Just Like Daddy!
As I watched Michael playing in his “Daddy Tie” and reflected on the influence we have on our children, I began to think of all the other people in my life who I may have influenced in either a positive or negative way. I recalled the months I stayed with my older sister and her family while I was getting back on my feet after a very young marriage and sadly, a young divorce as well. At the reunion last week my niece, who is now a grown woman and mother of two, reminded me of how, at the age of about 5, she would sit by my side every morning mesmerized, watching me put on my makeup. She remembers those times like they were yesterday. What kind of influence could I have had on that little girl if, instead of talking about choosing blue or pink eye shadow today, we had talked about how much Jesus loves her?
Influence… we all have it, and we don’t even know it. I also remember a time when my husband and I ran into a couple in a local restaurant who we had not seen in many years. The last time we saw them, they were on the verge of divorce. As we sat with this couple all those years later, we wondered what had happened, and why or how they were still together. They told us it was in large part due to us. What?!? They reminisced about a party we all attended where they spoke quite openly with us about their relational difficulties. My husband and I were engaged at the time, a second marriage for both of us, and we told them how this time we wanted a real marriage. This time we wanted to make a decision to love each other, no matter what our ‘feelings’ were at the moment. This time, we wanted to make a marriage commitment and stick with it ‘for better or for worse.’ It’s interesting; we barely remembered the party or the conversation, but it had changed their lives. It was that conversation which prompted them to go get the help they needed to make their marriage work. Amazing! We felt so humbled and in awe that God would have used us in that way, even before we knew Him as our Lord.
Influence… when your kids ‘dress’ like you what will they look like? Will they wear a clip-on tie or blue eye shadow to look like you, or will they put on love, respect and a solid work ethic along with it? When they act like you, will you be proud, or embarrassed? When your friends gather round the table years from now, will the conversations they had with you over the years have made a difference in their lives? Remember, you influence others whether you are aware of it or not. You don’t have to be rich, famous or powerful to make an impact on another person’s life. Make a conscious choice today, to be an influence for good, for growth, and ultimately ~ and most importantly ~ for God.
