Emotions ~ they are our best friends and worst enemies! They allow us to be “madly in love”, filled with compassion for a hurting friend, or fuming mad at someone who has hurt us! Emotions give us the capability of wonderful deep friendships, unbelievable joy at the birth of our first grandchild, or even laughing ~ screaming ~ boisterous excitement at the victory of our favorite sports team. Emotions allow us to meet a new person and “connect” in an instant! They give us the capability to love so deeply that our hearts sometimes all but burst! But emotions also cause us pain! If we didn’t feel quite so deeply, we wouldn’t be crushed when someone we love hurts us. We wouldn’t have to deal with the sadness and pain of loneliness, or the deep grief at the death of a loved one. We wouldn’t have to face the fear of not being whom or what we think we should be.
And it is our fear ~ that “self-preservation” ~ which makes us bury our emotions. We put a wall around our hearts that often becomes so thick; nothing and no one can penetrate it! The problem is, when we block out the pain, we also seal in the hurt! And, in order to keep the pain from penetrating our armor, we create a barrier to all the good things our emotions and feelings were designed to give us! Our hearts become like solid, self-contained stone objects; incapable of feeling anything ~ not even the joy that we so desperately need and God wants so much to give. Even when we try to open up with those we deem to be “safe”, the cautious, protective layer is always ready to slam the door shut at any moment, in what has become our all-too-familiar pattern of self-protection.
But God gives us hope to free us from our trapped emotions! His Word has much to say about the topic. And there are many things we can choose to do ~ “on purpose” ~ to break down our self-protective wall and feel again. Let’s look at some ways to find the joy we are missing when we don’t allow ourselves to experience our God-given gift of emotions!
Allowing Yourself to Feel *
Allow yourself the luxury of feeling your true emotions! Don’t try to cover them up or seal them in. Feelings, good or bad, happy or sad, are what make us human! They are a gift God has given to make us more like Him. Jesus demonstrated the tender ~ emotional side of the Father for us in His own moving response to the death of His good friend Lazarus.
~ When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled… (John 11:33 NAS – emphasis mine)
Go ahead ~ cry! Yes gentlemen, that means you too! If Jesus was “man enough” to cry, why wouldn’t you? Let out the feelings that are pent up inside of you. Remember, psychologists have long thought that depression is caused by anger and hurt being “turned inward”. You won’t stay healthy if you trap all of your feelings inside like a volcano waiting to erupt. Ask God to give you the freedom to cry.
~ Jesus wept. (John 11:34 NIV)
~ You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. (Psalm 56:8 NLT)
Realize that anger in itself is not a sin. It is a God-given emotion. Even Jesus, in his full-humanity got angry ~ with the religious rulers of His day (Matthew 23:27), with the money lenders in the temple (Matthew 21:12), with his hard hearted followers. (Mark 16:14) God understands the anger that can well up in us when we are in seemingly impossible situations, or when people hurt or disappoint us. It is what we do with our anger that makes it hurtful to God, to others, and to ourselves. Talk to God about your anger! He knows everything you are feeling anyway. Ask him to take the passion and energy of your anger and transform it into something good and useful! Remember, He loves you exactly where you are right now ~ emotions, anger and all. But He is the God of transformations ~ watch what He can do ~ even with your anger!
~ He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts… (Mark 3:5 NIV)
~ In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. (Psalm 4:4 NIV)
* Excerpt from: Fifty Ways to Find Joy ~ on Purpose!
Major depression significantly impacts a person’s loved ones and personal associations, work or even school existence, sleeping and eating habits, and also general health.[5] Its impact on operating and well-being has been equated to that of persistent medical conditions including diabetes.
Thanks for this lovely teaching on emotions; an often misunderstood part of ourselves. The culture for so many years has told us to live for our emotions, “If it feels good, do it” or “Have it your way”, and the opposite extreme has been to bury our emotions like the stoic. Only when we can accept our feelings, and then use our mind to think about how we should act first, can we live our human life to the fullest. When I revised my book for teens, “Love & Life” I added a whole chapter on emotional maturity to help young people allow their feelings to be indicators, not dictators, and yet not to snuff them out. Emotional health is easier to reach when we find that balance.
Christians should be full of the joy of Christ and can experience it even during trials. I found a secret to union with God during my son’s wake and funeral when I played the tune in my head for six hours, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Certainly I wasn’t ‘feeling’ happy, but the joy of the closeness to God was fully present in my heart. He gave me peace.