It’s that time of year again ~ love is in the air and Cupid is pointing his arrow in every card shop, discount store and grocery chain in town. Red and pink hearts fly above our heads in Walmart, while heart shaped boxes filled with ooie-gooie chocolates line store shelves from gas stations to corner drug stores. Valentines Day is one of what my husband not-so-lovingly calls the “Hallmark Holidays” ~ occasions he claims were invented by the retail giant to create a need for their products. Not a bad marketing strategy I suppose.

But what if you’re not in such a loving place right now? What do you do when you are all alone, or your marriage is in a really rough spot ~ maybe a very long rough spot? Have you ever gone to shop for a Valentine’s Day Card and come out empty-handed because all that mushy, lovey-dovey stuff was just notwhat you were feeling? Oh, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a great idea to be reminded to express how we feel toward those we loveat least once a year. But what do you do when, at this particular point in time, you don’t feel what all the cards convey, or you are single for yet another year and have nobody to buy that card for?

Those are the times, and we’ve all had them if we’re honest, when looking at everything Hollywood and Hallmark say about love is just not enough. Those are the times when we need, more than ever, to look to the author of love ~ not only to what He says about love, but take time to really search out and discoverhow He loves. Because the fact is that real love is not what we feel. True love is not the romantic, butterflies-in-the-stomach, highly charged emotion we experience when we’re in a new relationship.

Love is a decision. Love is a choice. Love is even a command from the God who made us. We are told to love our enemies. Does that sound like something we feel like doing? The truth is the love God gives, and the love He wants us to pour out to others, whether a spouse, a friend or even an enemy, is not about feelings. It’s about choosing to love as God loves you. It’s about giving without expecting in return. It’s about thinking more about others than we do about ourselves. It’s about giving the kind of love that God has given us ~ amazing, unselfish, unconditional love.

What makes God’s love so amazing? Perhaps it’s the fact that it is unconditional ~ no matter what we do or who we are, God loves us completely! “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 NIV) We all yearn for that, don’t we? We want to be loved just for who we are. We don’t want to be asked to change in order for someone to care for us.

Maybe God’s love is amazing because it is never ending ~ He will never fall out of lovewith us. “For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.” (Psalm 100:5 NLT) How much more solid and trusting would our earthly relationships be if we didn’t worry about losing the ones we love? And God’s love is tender, caring, tough, freeing, unselfish, and more! “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4 – 8 NIV)

The more we know our God, and the more we experience His amazing love for us, the more He enables us to love others His way. Imagine a world where everyone loved unconditionally. Imagine your family, your marriage, your friendships or even your working relationships if everyone in your life, including you, loved the way God loves us. That is what He wants. God’s desire is for us tolook like Him in every way. When we love as He does, relationships are healed, people are changed, and life is a bit less difficult as we begin to experience the joy of living a life filled with unconditional love.

But it’s not easy to love God’s way. It’s not what we, as human beings, are inclined to do. The sin in our very nature, and the “me first”society we live in, cause us to lean toward selfishness. It’s not instinctive to put others first or love when we’re not loved in return. That takes much more than we have within us, yet it is what God asks us to do. Not only to love those who love us, but even to “love our enemies.”(Luke 6:35; Matthew 5:44) How do we do that?

We certainly can’t do it on our own ~ not in our human condition. Only with God IN us, are we capable of loving His way. When we come to God in our total emptiness and need, and say “Help me love this person Lord, because I don’t have any love in me right now,” then He says “OK…Let me love throughyou. Let me give you the love you thought you didn’t have.” God changes us. He works in us through every situation in our lives, transforming us into His own likeness ~ the likeness of the God of love. As we draw closer and depend on Him, God remakes us ~ a little at a time ~ into the reflection of His love in this world. What an honor. What a purpose. What a Joy!

This Valentine’s day, ask God to change you. Ask Him to love through you. Ask Him to put HIS love in your heart for those in your life who are hard to love. Ask God to show you someone who needs to feel His love through you. Ask Him to open your eyes to see howHe loves those He wants you to love. Then watch Him transform you and those you care about!

Happy Valentine’s Day!