Yesterday, I received a very rare and precious gift. It didn’t come in a package with a ribbon or bow. It didn’t come from a store. It didn’t even cost any money. It came from the heart of a good friend and was given in love. That gift was the gift of time and a personal outreach when I needed it most.  You see I’ve been struggling with some difficult issues lately that, for the most part, I tend to keep to myself. But in a recent email to this friend, I briefly mentioned my battle and asked her to pray for me. She is a real prayer warrior so I know she did, but she also gave me another gift – the gift of herself. Oh, some would say it was just a phone call… but it was SO much more to me than that! It was a surprise. It was a joy. It was a visit from a friend. It meant everything to me. I sat this morning and wrote a prayer of thanks to God for my friend Jane. Here’s what I said:

Father God, Thank you for Jane. Isn’t it just like her to pay such close attention to those few brief comments in my emails and then pick up the phone just to say, “Can I help?” I truly have to question whether I would have done that if the situation had been reversed. Oh, I’m really good about shooting off a quick email and offering to pray or to ‘schedule’ time to talk. But there was something sweet about the spontaneity of that good old fashioned phone call. It said, “I’m going to break away from the plans of my day for more than the five minutes it takes to write an email, and I’m going to see if you are OK right now.” Wow!

Remember when a spontaneous phone call from a friend was not so unusual? That’s what we did before we all became so addicted to communicating without any real interpersonal contact. There was a time when friends called each other instead of tapping out brief text messages or emails. There was a time when, even in business, if there was a question or a problem you would pick up the phone and talk to the other person. Or even better, you would walk down the hall or across the street and say, “Hey, do you have a minute?” But now, the speed and safety of electronic communication has all but replaced real human interaction. Today you can go through an entire sales process with a company without ever once talking to an actual person.

And it’s safer that way, isn’t it? You can say what you want in an email or text without being interrupted, and without the danger and uncertainty of all those nasty questions someone might ask. You can limit your time and only “talk” electronically when it’s convenient for you. And oh, how much easier it is not to have to actually hear someone when they get angry with you! Somehow, all those bold CAPS and exclamation points don’t have quite the same sting as real words of frustration!!!!!!! You have to wonder in marriages and families today, just how many more words have been spoken via text messages and emails than in actual conversations. Oh yes, it’s safe. It’s controlled. But it can also be so sterile and cold. Soon I fear the fine art of real communication and true interpersonal relationships will be a thing of the past.

Oh God, yes, thank you for Jane! For her willingness to get out of the controlled world of five minute emails and invest in a wonderful, hour long conversation with a friend who was hurting. That was a true gift. I love her for that! And I pray that more and more of us – including me – will take that example and start going backwards in our communication style. I pray that we will have the courage to close the email or text message, and pick up the phone (or better still… get in the car and go!) and talk to someone who might just love to hear from us.

How about you? Do you need to go backwards a bit and revisit the fine art of real communication?  Do you spend more time typing text messages than talking because it’s faster and you can just ‘get it done?” People are too important for that. We need each other. We need to talk to each other. We need to love each other and hold each other up when things are hard. Somehow, an email or a text message just doesn’t do the trick. So, thank you Jane, for loving me and for reminding me of the importance of the rare gift that is real friendship.

Has anyone given you the gift of true friendship lately? We’d love to hear about it. Share your story with us here on the JoyBlog by clicking on “comments” at the top right corner of the page. And if you have enjoyed this month’s blog, be sure to share it with a friend!

Blessings to you!

Mary